How to receive love

I’m sure the title brought you here. If you know me, you might think this isn’t the kind of thing I would write about, or even care about.

In a way, you’d be right. This isn’t the type of topic I usually talk about…openly. And that, in itself, is part of the problem. A problem I’ll tackle another time.

I’m writing this in response to a question someone asked me:

How do you receive love?

This is an important question, because many people don’t know the answer. In fact, a lot of people don’t even realize they don’t know the answer.

We sometimes delude ourselves into thinking we’re fine. We get a warm feeling in our chest when we hear a compliment and think, *“Hey, I’m good. I totally receive love well.”*

And maybe you do. If so, I’m genuinely happy for you.

But if you’re in the other group, the ones who struggle to believe or accept it when people show they care, I hope this helps. Note: I’m not claiming to have all the answers. I don’t. But I believe what I’m about to share will help.

3 Ways to Learn to Receive Love

1. Love Yourself

I’m not talking about the trendy, surface-level version of self-love: buying yourself gifts, taking yourself out, posting motivational quotes. That’s fine, but it’s not what I mean.

I’m also not talking about pride or elevating yourself above others.

I’m talking about real love. The kind described in my favorite book, the Bible. In 1 Corinthians 13:4–7, love is defined like this:

1 Corinthians 13:4–7 (NLT)

[4] Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud [5] or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. [6] It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. [7] Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

To love yourself means to apply these qualities inward:

• Be patient with yourself.
• Be kind to yourself.
• Don’t be rude to yourself.
• Don’t keep a record of your own wrongs.
• Never give up on yourself.
• Always have hope.

Many people can’t accept love from others because they don’t believe they are worthy of it.

Often, they’ve spent years being harsh on themselves: recycling rude words and thoughts until those lies become “truth” to them.

So when you celebrate them or encourage them, they simply can’t believe it.

It’s nearly impossible to receive love if you don’t have it for yourself.

• Be patient with yourself: If you’re struggling with something, give yourself grace. Ask for help.
• Be kind to yourself: Don’t use words on yourself that you’d never use on a friend. Don’t call yourself useless, slow, weak, or ugly.
• Never give up on yourself: Have hope for your future and keep moving forward.

2. Believe the Best in Others

This still comes from 1 Corinthians. In the KJV, it says love “believeth all things.”

The Amplified Bible puts it this way:

1 Corinthians 13:7 (AMP)

Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things without weakening].

If you can’t receive love, it might be because when people show you care, you start looking for ulterior motives. You suspect it’s fake. You think they must have the wrong idea about you. But love chooses to believe the best about others. Yes, maybe you’ve developed a defense reflex from past hurts. But don’t let old wounds block new blessings. 3. Believe Jesus The One who created all things calls you His masterpiece. Ephesians 2:10. That truth alone could be the end of this conversation. The Creator of the universe came down and died, just to give you the chance to live. You, specifically. If it were only you, He still would have come. When you understand your place in God’s heart, you gain peace and confidence that change everything. Suddenly, all the other steps make sense. Receiving love from others becomes easier when you’ve already received the greatest love of all. Countless Scriptures describe how God loves His people. I encourage you to look them up, meditate on them, and let them sink in. I hope this helped someone today. If it did, I’d love to hear from you. Have a good day.