Man up

It’s Men’s Mental Health Month… and the room is awfully quiet...

I’m planning a series of posts on men’s mental health, but today I just want to bust a myth.

Myth: Men shouldn’t get sad.

That’s the myth. If you’re a man, you’ve either heard that outright or had it implied to you.

If you’re a woman, you’ve either said it or implied it, typically unintentionally, though a bold few say it plainly.

It comes from the idea that men should be strong.

And honestly? I agree with that thought.

Everyone should be strong. Life throws punches, as I wrote about here. You need to be able to take those punches and keep going.

But being strong doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to show emotion.

The real question is where and when? Where and when should you show emotion? Deep emotion.

I don’t think the answer is “wherever and whenever.”

Safe spaces. That’s the buzzword, right?

A safe space is defined as a place or environment in which a person or group can feel confident they won’t be exposed to discrimination, criticism, harassment, or any other emotional or physical harm.

So where are the male safe spaces?

I don’t think there are many left.

Even friend groups tend to evolve into places where people flex and try to one-up each other.

Competition, even unintentional, makes guys not want to look like the weak one.

That’s our fault.

And sure, some friend groups do allow real vulnerability.

But not enough.

This came to mind because I recently read Point Man by Steven Farrar, where he mentioned attending a men’s conference. I paused and thought: “Huh… didn’t know that was a thing.”

We need more men’s conferences.

I’m blessed to be part of a church that regularly organizes such meetings, spaces where young men can speak and ask questions freely.

I encourage everyone reading this, male and female, to help create more spaces like that.

I’ll end with a number:

1,284.

That’s how many men will die by suicide today. Just today…

Let's create safe spaces.