My worst experience in medical school. Be an encourager - Part Two

Let’s start with a definition:

Useless: “Not fulfilling or not expected to achieve the intended purpose or desired outcome.”

Synonyms: Futile. Purposeless. Pointless.

Here’s one of my own: Trash.

My worst experience in medical school was a time when I was made to feel useless.

I was made to feel like trash.

Now here’s the thing: I’m a pretty confident person. In fact, I was a VERY confident person in medical school.

So, to succeed in making me feel useless? That’s quite the achievement.

In medical school (in Ghana and honestly everywhere), we have monsters.

I’m not throwing shade, I’m not attacking anyone. And I don’t mean “monster” in the grotesque, horror-movie sense.

No.

I mean “monster” as in an obstacle. A checkpoint. A difficult trial you face on your hero’s journey.

Monsters stopped bothering me a long time ago.

Shouting consultants? Didn’t faze me.

Lecturers who handed out punishments like party favors? I got used to them.

It wasn’t a monster that got me. It was an angel. Or at least a monster dressed like one.

Okay, I’ve dawdled enough. Here's the story.

It was my final year of medical school. One day, I climbed the stairs of the hospital and entered a particular ward. I wasn’t alone. I had a female classmate with me.

She was sharp. One of the best medical students I knew. The kind of person whose answer you’d trust without needing to double-check the textbook.

And me? I wasn’t bad myself.

What I’m trying to say is: we thought we were doing okay.

We thought we were learning, progressing, and doing well for ourselves.

Then we met him.

I don’t think the encounter was planned. I honestly can’t recall. Maybe it was just a string of unfortunate coincidences.

We showed up to the ward just when he did. We presented a case involving a patient he knew very well.

He started asking us questions. We answered.

And then we got eviscerated.

Let me define that one, too:

To eviscerate is “to take out the internal organs of something, or to deprive it of vital content or force.”

That’s how I felt.

This wasn’t "washing" (something I’ll write about soon).

This was a systematic dismantling of who we were.

It was senseless emotional violence. I know it might sound dramatic, but I’m not exaggerating.

That day, I was called stupid, in no uncertain terms (though the word itself wasn’t used).

What was said included:

“So what at all is your purpose here?”

“You’ve wasted all your time reading and achieved nothing.”

“I don't think you are cut out for this.”

Senseless violence.

No teaching happened that day. I didn’t learn a single thing. Some people might say:

“Oh, he was just trying to motivate you. Trying to push you to read harder.”

No. No, no, no.

NOTHING was taught.

There was ZERO intent to educate.

The only intent was to belittle and to harm.

I went home (well, to my hostel) confused.

I remember sitting on my bed thinking: "Maybe I made a mistake."

"Maybe I should have done another course. Because clearly this isn’t for me."

I legitimately considered switching career paths in FINAL year. That’s how bad it was.

My friend, one of the nicest and smartest people I know, was shaken too.

She told me, also in no uncertain terms, that what he did was wrong.

And I agree.

There’s a fine line between discipline and bullying.

I believe in being firm. Absolutely.

We deal with people’s lives, a certain level of pressure is needed.

But I REFUSE to degrade someone.

I REFUSE to make someone feel stupid.

Sometimes I wonder if I cross that line when I’m speaking with students or junior colleagues.

That’s why you’ll often hear me asking:

“Are you okay?”

“Do you understand why I’m saying this?”

“Have you learned something?”

Honestly, I probably overdo it.

But I never, ever want someone to feel the way I felt that day.

This article is called "Be an Encourager: Part 2" because that’s what I hope you decide to be after reading it.

Decide to encourage.

You can be firm, and still use that firmness to lift people up, not tear them down.

Don’t ever become a bully.

EVER.

I beg you...

I don’t really know how to end this 😂

So I’ll just say this: Be nice to people.

Victor Morhe out.

P.S. You can read Part 1 HERE